Mind your manners in cruise ship steam rooms.
I was not looking for sex in the cruise ship steam room, nor were most of the other men who used it during the cruise. But the cruisey guy worked it and worked it and worked it. I won’t go into details of his behavior–but there was no question why he was there. It doesn’t matter whether he was attractive or not, his behavior was the kind of thing that is not “straight-friendly” or appropriate.
Later in the cruise, he admitted that he was closeted, from a conservative midwest town, and traveling with his parents. The steam room was his entree into the gay world, and back in Kansas, it could be months before he’d have freedom like this again. Well, I never saw it pay off for him…all it did was frustrate him further and bother a lot of guests who just wanted to relax and detox in the steam.
I’m no prude, and I realize that steam rooms everywhere–from hotels to gyms to cruise ships–have historically been pick-up spots. I realize that there are (sadly) closeted people…although in this age I think that’s ridiculous. I realize there are some gays who, for whatever reason, have a wife, and look for men on the side.
If that’s you–or you know someone who is a steam room lurker on mainstream cruise itineraries–please reconsider your behavior. Most of the other men–including gay men–in the facility are likely not looking for sex. Instead of sexualizing the place and potentially disturbing other guests, try just being friendly and inviting someone you find interesting to have a drink elsewhere on the ship and work your magic from there.
We have come a long way in gaining the “gay-friendly” attitudes and respect we now find throughout the cruise industry. My partner and I act just like any couple on a ship–we hold hands, briefly kiss hello/goodbye, eat from each other’s plates, finish each other’s sentences…there’s no question we’re together. That’s the kind of “gay behavior” that is appropriate in a public area on a cruise ship.
Cruise lines welcome us, and middle-America is gradually getting used to us. I believe it’s important that gay people act in a manner that deserves and continues to earn that respect from both our fellow passengers and crews, everywhere on the ship.
